When I was born my parents gave me the middle name “Hope”. Hope typically represents a positive desire or expectation for something to happen. For my parents, I was the expectation they had been waiting for. After a miscarriage and multiple visits to the doctor and numerous medications they finally got their first of three babies.
My father later explained to me how, through this experience, he and my mom had learned an important thing about life: the difference between big “H” Hope and little “h” hope.
- Little “h” hopes are the typical everyday wishes and expectations that we have. Anything from wanting new clothes to wanting to fall in love, get married and have a family.
- Big “H” Hope is the representation of what is guaranteed to us in life, which, in my opinion, is that with a positive attitude, perseverance, and hard work you can have a meaningful and truly happy life.
My parents had originally missed the differences between these two kinds of “hope”. They had assumed that once they got married, children were a given. But it soon became obvious that their dream might not become a reality. For them, it finally put their lives into perspective. Having children to many may seem like a big “H” Hope, something we as humans have a right to, but in reality so many people struggle with making a family in one way or another.
My parents realized that even though giving up having biological children would be insanely hard, they would be able to have a family in other ways if it came down to it.
Obviously with my existence and the existence of my two younger siblings, my parents were able to get their dream. But recently, the concept of little “h” hopes and big “H” Hope has been on my mind.
I’ve tossed around the idea of blogging for awhile but never really seemed to find the time. Recently though, I’ve been feeling really lost and confused about what direction to take with my life. I’ve been finding myself frustrated, feeling like I did everything I was supposed to do to supposedly set myself up in life and be happy.
I’m in college, which is supposedly gonna be the best four years of my life. I’m almost half way done with these “best” years and yes, I have made friends and have made so many good memories, but I still feel like there is something missing and I’m not truly happy.
I have fallen into the same thought pattern as my parents. I thought being happy and enjoying life in college was a big “H” Hope. I thought if I jumped through all the right hoops then everything would fall into place. This, I have recently realized, is not at all what college or life is really like.
We are aloud to have our little “h” hopes and many of these hopes actually do come true, but putting these wishes and desires into perspective is important to start living a more productive and happy life. The great thing about big “H” Hope is that it is guaranteed, you can reach the point where you are truly happy with your life and know your self worth. This is not to say that you wont have bad days, but life is too short and unpredictable to dwell on all the times something went wrong. You have to pick yourself up and try to make every day better than the last.
This blog is my first step in living my life with the big “H” Hope in mind. I have still not lost sight of my little “h” hopes, but I want to start making the changes I want to see in myself and the world around me and not dwell on all the things I want but can’t have (or at least can’t have yet).
All I am really saying with this is: Breaking out of the lost feeling when you go to college, move out, or become independent is hard, but putting effort into yourself and the things that matter to you will lead you to exciting opportunities, a profound knowledge of your self worth, and true happiness.
“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.”
-Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.